Jordan doing Standup

This last week, I began working on some new material to prepare for their upcoming stand up shows. Check out a few pictures from the other night at WiseGuys comedy in Downtown Salt Lake City with fellow comedian Tim Drake.

Jordan and Tim in the green room. We interviewed WiseGuys owner, Keith Stubbs before open mic started. 

Jordan performing his set. 

Jordan will be performing the near future at WiseGuys and on other shows in Utah. Stay tuned to Facebook and Twitter for updates!

Thank you for all of your support, Mooners!

MY HOUSE ON THE MOON OFFICIAL FACEBOOK

MY HOUSE ON THE MOON OFFICIAL TWITTER

Sneak peek at the book cover shoot!

Last week Tim and Jordan did the photoshoot for the upcoming My House on the Moon book cover! Here is a sneak peek at one of Jordan's shots. Enjoy!

The My House on the Moon book will be out July 23rd! Stay tuned!

I AM SALT LAKE interview

LISTEN TO JORDAN'S INTERVIEW ON I AM SALT LAKE HERE

Last week Jordan and Tim were interviewed on the I am Salt Lake podcast in downtown Salt Lake City, Utah. They talked to Chris about how they met, the podcast, comedy, the book and more! Check out the episode now!

(Photo courtesy of Jami Grove West)

Thank you to Chris Holifield for having us on the show!

LISTEN TO TIM AND JORDAN'S INTERVIEW ON I AM SALT LAKE HERE

I AM SALT LAKE WEBSITE

How to make an Amazing S'more

Shorty Award Interview with Jordan Eyre

Here is the transcript for the Shorty Award interview I did recently. Enjoy!

-Jordan

What's your best tweet?

All the stalls are full. Is it okay to poop in a urinal? Asking for a friend.

What are six things you could never do without?

My dog, peanut butter, a toothbrush, comedy, the mountains, and the love of a good woman.

How do you use Twitter in your professional life?

I'm currently promoting my podcast and my new book, My House on the Moon, which will be released on July 23, 2013.

What's your favorite Twitter app?

Twitter for Android

Twitter or Facebook?

Ah. Tough. Twitter for funny, Facebook for stalking old high school girlfriends.

What was the funniest trend you've seen?

#sixwordfilmplots was incredible. I also liked #movietitlepenisnames. Groundbreaking stuff!

What feature should Twitter add?

Roulette, like omegle

Who do you wish had a Twitter feed but doesn't?

That chick Rachel Bilson. Can we get someone on that?

What are some words or phrases you refuse to shorten for brevity?

Idgaf is a good one, but I usually type in complete wrds n sntncs.

Is there someone you want to follow you who doesn't already? If so, who?

I want all famous comedians to follow me and respect the work I'm doing. Right now, I'll settle for groupies though.

Have you ever unfollowed someone? Who and why?

I unfollowed a couple 14 year old Beiber fanatics, but only because I suspect they were 40 year old Beiber fanatics.

Why should we vote for you?

I am a clever comedian and a strong writer. My spelign isn't gr8, but I hope you can look past that.

Terms you wish would start trending on Twitter right now?

#mhotm and #mhotmbook, Mhotm stands for My House on the Moon, obviously.

What's the most interesting connection you've made through Twitter?

I found a lady in California, who has almost the same name as me: @jordannaeyre

Hashtag you created that you wish everyone used?

My friends and I had a great idea for taco bell: #doritoburrito. They have the taco, but doesn't dorito burrito just roll off the tongue?

How do you make your tweets unique?

I look at the world around me, what's going on, then I try to see if from another perspective. If its funny, I tweet it.

What inspires you to tweet?

Everything. There isn't a lot that is off limits, except flowery inspirational crap. Follow Oprah if you want that. I'll tell you why it might be fun to put your dick inside a hotdog bun.

Ever get called out for tweeting too much?

I get called out for live tweeting church, but my followers think it's funny.

140 characters of advice for a new user?

If you're new to twitter, make sure the app is downloaded onto your home page of your phone. Don't censor yourself. If you think its funny, Tweet it.

How long can you go without a tweet?

Only about 6 hours, then my fingers start itching. If I don't get the thought out, I might pop!

What question are we not asking here that we should?

Who is the funniest person on twitter? I nominate myself.

How do you imagine Twitter changing?

Lets find a way to make seeing pictures easier. Scrolling through hilarious pictures would be fun!

Who do you admire most for his or her use of Twitter?

@robdelaney is using Twitter exactly how it should be used: to rise to the top in popularity and build a comedic career with it. His tweets are so funny I have to change my underwear.

Who is the funniest person on Twitter that you follow?

Oh you did ask this... I say you should follow Jocelyn Plums, @filthyrichmond. I have no idea who this really is, its a pseudonym. Holy crap, funny stuff.

What is one of the biggest misconceptions of Twitter?

That its just shameless self promotion and advertising.

Why should people follow you?

I am hilarious! My tweets are original and concise, and are poignant.

Can you name some one-of-a-kind Twitter accounts that you follow?

@tindrake @greenishduck @tokenjay @petehomez

How do you decide what to tweet?

If it fits, it ships. Onto twitter. Like that, I just wrote the first thing that cane to me, which happens to be a USPS shipping box slogan.

How do you use social media to motivate yourself or others to live a healthier life?

I have always said, laughter is the best medicine, so I encourage any laughing I can!

How has social media helped bring your family closer together and #keepgoodgoing?

My family is social media retarded, but my mom has been scanning all my old childhood memories and posting them on Facebook. Needless to say, she's blocked.

Why'd you start tweeting?

I started tweeting after discovering @michaelianblack's tweets, and thought "hey, I could do that!" It has been a few years, and I'm still trying.

Has Twitter changed your life? If yes, how?

It has definitely skyrocketed my popularity, and now my podcast has thousands of listeners.

What do you wish people would do more of on Twitter?

More interactions via dms, replies and rts

How will the world change in the next year?

Podcasts will become more popular than ever, and print media will reemerge in popularity. Robots will gain their first toehold in the war against humans, and we will be too consumed by our podcasts and books to notice.

What are some big Twitter faux pas?

Tweeting "why'd you unfollow me?" If you have to ask, you already know the answer. Also, too much self-promotion in one sitting clogs people's feeds.

What will the world be like 10 years from now?

Gone, jesus will be here shortly, and then you'll be sorry. You'll all be sorry!

Salt Lake Comedy Festival Episode

LISTEN TO THE SLC COMEDY FESTIVAL SHOW HERE!

We had such a great time at the Salt Lake Comedy Festival this last week. We recorded a special episode at the festival featuring a few special guests. We would like to thank Richie Steadman for having us at the festival as well as being a guest on the show.

Richie

 Richie started the comedy festival, and is the Producer for X96's Radio From Hell morning show. He is a hilarious comedian and actor as well!

 We also had one of our first fans, and most dedicated fans on the show, Jami West. As we set up for the show at the Murray Theatre, the lobby was really messy and driving Jami crazy. She took charge and ended up vacuuming the theatre lobby. Talk about an awesome fan! We also had the amazing opportunity of releasing the My House on the Moon book excerpt! We are to excited to share this with all of you. Enjoy some pictures from the show!

Jordan checking sound levels before the show.

Jordan and Richie getting down to business.

Jami vacuuming the dirty theatre lobby.

The book excerpt set up at the show.

Richie, Jordan, and Tim talking about their million dollar shopping sprees.

Jordan and Tim reading fan suggestions for the show.

Jordan, Richie and Tim after the show.

Thank you so much for all of the support to all you that came out to see us! Pre-Order the book now and download a free copy of the excerpt!

(Pictures courtesy of Vanella Drake)

LISTEN TO THE SLC COMEDY FESTIVAL EPISODE HERE!

April Fools!

Lets see how many calls Tim gets from this ad I posted this morning!

Ambien Dream Journal

I’ve been an insomniac for quite some time. In fact, I don’t remember the last time I had a real, full night sleep. Usually, I will either stay up all night to watch the sunrise, or I will fall asleep early and wake up a couple of hours later. After quite some time, I finally decided that drugs were the answer. I got a prescription for Ambien, and my life has totally changed. I can finally sleep! I take the pill, and twenty minutes later, I am out like a light. Awesome!

The only crazy thing is that I can recall every detail of my dreams. They are so vivid, and in a lot of cases, they are super creepy. Let me give you a few examples. By the way, if you can give me any ideas on what the hell these dreams mean, please give me your thoughts!

One night, right after I started taking the pills, I had a crazy dream about my dogs. I dreamed that Dexter and Marley were playing in the backyard of my parents’ house. The grass was really long, like 18” deep. I couldn’t keep track of the dogs while they were playing back there, and they came across a bee hive. They got stung all over the paws and face. I found them and brought them into the house, and tried to take care of them. Marley died first, within minutes, and I was so sad. Then, a few minutes later, Dexter died. In my dream, I was screaming and crying, and when I woke up, tears were streaming down my face. It was so real.

I hated that dream, and considered stopping the medication. There were a few intensely real sex dreams after that, so I decided to keep taking it. It was just a few days later that my next weird dream happened.

In this dream, I dreamed that I was moving into a brand new home. I hadn’t seen the place, so you can imagine my surprise when I discovered the new place was on a cruise ship. I had my ticket, and I boarded the immense ship, and started looking for my room. The room I was looking for was 827933112. Seriously, a 9 digit number. It is so clear in my memory, and I don’t know what the number means. Thoughts? Anyway, I headed up to level 8, and I did end up finding the place, but it wasn’t a room. I was accidentally looking at a ticket stub for a movie, entitled Looney Toons Adventure 827933 part 112. I had already seen it, so I took a closer look at my ticket and went down to level 4 to find my room. It wasn’t there, so I just went to level 6 and ordered a Pina Colada. Delicious!

I have googled that number a few times, and I can’t figure out what it means, or why it is stuck inside my brain. Sometimes, it’s just a puzzle as to where some things come from. Other times, I know exactly where the ideas come from. To preface this last dream, you should know that I had just finished Season 9 of Scrubs, which takes place in a medical school.

In this dream, I was at home, and two Mexican guys came in to rob me. They took me hostage, and went to take me away. They split up, and I found myself tied up in the front seat of one of the guys’ old pick up truck. I was able to free myself, and jerked the steering wheel. We went off the side of the road, and hit a parked car. I reached over and grabbed his gun, but he had another gun. At the same time, sitting right next to each other, we started shooting. I hit him twice, but he missed me every time. I was pissed at this time. I pushed him over and drove us to the nearest medical school classroom, where I threw him down on the table. I told my story, then asked the class, “How would you guys like a super fresh cadaver?!” I then finished him off, right there in the classroom!

The kicker to this dream is that, as the class was dismissing, a Japanese girl came up to me. She was crying, and told me about how her family was interred in the concentration camps in World War II. In my dream, I could empathize because I had just killed my captors. Here’s the question: Am I racist?

My mind has been quiet for the last 2 nights. Lets see if it lasts.

Love letter to that chick Rachel Bilson

To that chick Rachel Bilson,

First things first. This letter is to Rachel only, so you guys can stop reading, unless you know her and can pass it along.

This letter is kind of a fan letter. More than that, Rachel, I am totally head over heals for you. Actually, I am using my popular website as a way to get a letter to you, since I can’t find your address. I didn’t actually look for it at all, but I figure it’d probably be hard to track down.

You first caught my eye when you were 22 years old, playing a high school student on tv's The OC. I suspended my disbelief and allowed myself to jump right into your story, and for you to jump right into my heart. Even though you are several years older than I am, we were technically in high school at the same time. Therefore, I feel that I am well within your league.

I went on a self guided tour of the Warner lot a couple of weeks ago, and I couldn't help but notice that the red light outside of the "Hart of Dixie" soundstage was on. I knew you were only a couple dozen yards away, so I figured I'd just pop in. Much to my dismay, the door was locked. Sorry if I ruined your scene with the sound of a jiggling handle. Its just, I didn't see a sock on the door, so I thought the coast was clear.

Rachel, I think you are a total fox. It is no secret that you are one of the sexiest women in all of show business. It is also no secret that I’m pretty attractive myself, even if I haven’t done any television yet. I would go as far as to say that you and I would make a very attractive couple. I’m just saying that we might as well give it a try.

I am going to go out on a limb here and ask you for a dinner date. I know you are with Hayden Christensen, and that’s okay with me. The way I figure, regardless of what Wikipedia might say, if there’s no ring, its fair game. You could bring him along, if that would make a difference. I’m willing to make the sacrifice in order to secure a date with my very favorite television actress, and my second favorite film actress (Number one slot goes to Charlize Theron, for obvious reasons. It goes without saying that this whole letter goes double for her).

Get back to me as soon as you can. I’m looking forward to our dinner date!

Love,

Jordan

My New Theme Song!!

Jordan's new theme song. Not Tim's, for obvious reasons.

Enormous Penis by Da Vinci's Notebook