Here is the transcript for the Shorty Award interview I did recently. Enjoy!
-Jordan
What's your best tweet?
All the stalls are full. Is it okay to poop in a urinal? Asking for a friend.
What are six things you could never do without?
My dog, peanut butter, a toothbrush, comedy, the mountains, and the love of a good woman.
How do you use Twitter in your professional life?
I'm currently promoting my podcast and my new book, My House on the Moon, which will be released on July 23, 2013.
What's your favorite Twitter app?
Twitter for Android
Twitter or Facebook?
Ah. Tough. Twitter for funny, Facebook for stalking old high school girlfriends.
What was the funniest trend you've seen?
#sixwordfilmplots was incredible. I also liked #movietitlepenisnames. Groundbreaking stuff!
What feature should Twitter add?
Roulette, like omegle
Who do you wish had a Twitter feed but doesn't?
That chick Rachel Bilson. Can we get someone on that?
What are some words or phrases you refuse to shorten for brevity?
Idgaf is a good one, but I usually type in complete wrds n sntncs.
Is there someone you want to follow you who doesn't already? If so, who?
I want all famous comedians to follow me and respect the work I'm doing. Right now, I'll settle for groupies though.
Have you ever unfollowed someone? Who and why?
I unfollowed a couple 14 year old Beiber fanatics, but only because I suspect they were 40 year old Beiber fanatics.
Why should we vote for you?
I am a clever comedian and a strong writer. My spelign isn't gr8, but I hope you can look past that.
Terms you wish would start trending on Twitter right now?
#mhotm and #mhotmbook, Mhotm stands for My House on the Moon, obviously.
What's the most interesting connection you've made through Twitter?
I found a lady in California, who has almost the same name as me: @jordannaeyre
Hashtag you created that you wish everyone used?
My friends and I had a great idea for taco bell: #doritoburrito. They have the taco, but doesn't dorito burrito just roll off the tongue?
How do you make your tweets unique?
I look at the world around me, what's going on, then I try to see if from another perspective. If its funny, I tweet it.
What inspires you to tweet?
Everything. There isn't a lot that is off limits, except flowery inspirational crap. Follow Oprah if you want that. I'll tell you why it might be fun to put your dick inside a hotdog bun.
Ever get called out for tweeting too much?
I get called out for live tweeting church, but my followers think it's funny.
140 characters of advice for a new user?
If you're new to twitter, make sure the app is downloaded onto your home page of your phone. Don't censor yourself. If you think its funny, Tweet it.
How long can you go without a tweet?
Only about 6 hours, then my fingers start itching. If I don't get the thought out, I might pop!
What question are we not asking here that we should?
Who is the funniest person on twitter? I nominate myself.
How do you imagine Twitter changing?
Lets find a way to make seeing pictures easier. Scrolling through hilarious pictures would be fun!
Who do you admire most for his or her use of Twitter?
@robdelaney is using Twitter exactly how it should be used: to rise to the top in popularity and build a comedic career with it. His tweets are so funny I have to change my underwear.
Who is the funniest person on Twitter that you follow?
Oh you did ask this... I say you should follow Jocelyn Plums, @filthyrichmond. I have no idea who this really is, its a pseudonym. Holy crap, funny stuff.
What is one of the biggest misconceptions of Twitter?
That its just shameless self promotion and advertising.
Why should people follow you?
I am hilarious! My tweets are original and concise, and are poignant.
Can you name some one-of-a-kind Twitter accounts that you follow?
How do you decide what to tweet?
If it fits, it ships. Onto twitter. Like that, I just wrote the first thing that cane to me, which happens to be a USPS shipping box slogan.
How do you use social media to motivate yourself or others to live a healthier life?
I have always said, laughter is the best medicine, so I encourage any laughing I can!
How has social media helped bring your family closer together and #keepgoodgoing?
My family is social media retarded, but my mom has been scanning all my old childhood memories and posting them on Facebook. Needless to say, she's blocked.
Why'd you start tweeting?
I started tweeting after discovering @michaelianblack's tweets, and thought "hey, I could do that!" It has been a few years, and I'm still trying.
Has Twitter changed your life? If yes, how?
It has definitely skyrocketed my popularity, and now my podcast has thousands of listeners.
What do you wish people would do more of on Twitter?
More interactions via dms, replies and rts
How will the world change in the next year?
Podcasts will become more popular than ever, and print media will reemerge in popularity. Robots will gain their first toehold in the war against humans, and we will be too consumed by our podcasts and books to notice.
What are some big Twitter faux pas?
Tweeting "why'd you unfollow me?" If you have to ask, you already know the answer. Also, too much self-promotion in one sitting clogs people's feeds.
What will the world be like 10 years from now?
Gone, jesus will be here shortly, and then you'll be sorry. You'll all be sorry!
